If you are like me, you admit openly that motherhood is hard!
What made it even harder for me was becoming a mom myself without having the support and guidance of my mom. My mom passed away 5 months before I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter Sophia who is now 7.
Navigating through pregnancy, labor & birth as well as postpartum was extremely difficult for me not being able to turn to my mom for help and advice. My emotions throughout my pregnancy made me feel like I was on a constant roller coaster and it did not get any easier once my daughter was born.
Joy was masked by grief.
Grief was overshadowed by happiness.
And behind it all was the guilt...
How can I be happy when I just lost my mom. How can I be sad when I am pregnant? No matter what emotion(s) I was working through the guilt was always there...like a wave pulling me back under.
During my 4th trimester these feelings and emotions did not get any better. What followed was just more grief and guilt...now I had a new beautiful baby and it was not what I had always dreamed, pictured or imagined.
There were no surprise visits from my mom to come hold the baby while I showered or had a nap. There were no phone calls in the middle of the night to my mom asking for advice on something I knew nothing about.
In fact there was no one for me to turn to for support or advice. I lived in a town where I had no family and none of my friends had babies or children. I hadn't been told about any community resources and my family Doctor didn't seem worried.
Even today, when I look around I have not found any support locally for moms to be, new moms or daughters without mothers.
This lack of support has bothered me for so long, it has sat with me for years. I have felt that I am meant to help in this area, this is something that I can offer that others cannot. This is not something experienced by the majority of new moms so it isn't main stream.
I have teamed up with Bereaved Families of Southwestern Ontario to offer a free peer support group for moms to be, new moms and daughters without mothers who would like to seek support and/or support others. A safe place where stories, experiences and advice can be shared in a respectful and honest place.
I call this group...
A peer support group supporting Mothers without Mothers. This can look like mothers to be, new moms and all moms without the support of their own mother.
If you would like to attend a meeting please reach out to me for further details.
I want to start my blog off talking about how I grew in 2018 and what my hopes and plans are for 2019. I hope that you will follow me along on my journey of bettering myself, creating my business and watching both myself and my business Flourish & Bloom.
2018 was a year of change for me. I went through some very tough things that brought up emotions I had pushed aside for years. Things came front and center when I suffered from a PTSD episode and needed to deal with my shit.
Dealing with everything brought with it its own challenges all of which I grew through and came out on the other side better then before. As hard as everything was, suffering through my PTSD, losing my job, losing myself I am so glad it all happened to me.
As much as all this stuff sucked as I was going through it, it soon proved to be meant to happen. And it was vital that it happen and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today or be headed in the direction I have my sites set on if I hadn’t of grown through these experiences in the last year.
My word for 2018…I couldn’t decide so I chose 2, Pain and Growth.
Going into 2019 I have nothing but an open heart and high expectations of and for myself. I have decided to leave anger and self doubt behind me in 2018 and instead will focus on being successful, fulfilled and happy, in all aspects of my life.
I am so READY to build up myself, my family, my community and my clients! This is going to be my year to not second guess myself and jump right into things. I plan on being stronger and happier then I have ever been before in my life.
My goals for 2019 are to finish my 200hr Yoga teacher training in March and jump right into teaching, which I have already began to do but I want to commit to more teaching hours per week once I am done certifying. I plan on being done my certifications for both labour/birth and postpartum doula as well as my infant and pregnancy loss support person. I will also be getting certified this spring for prenatal/postnatal, fertility, and baby & me yoga! All the better to help my future clients.
My biggest goal for 2019 is it continue growing my amazing tribe of my kind of people to surround myself with.
In the last year I have met some of the most incredible people, I have formed relationships and friendships with them. Some have been work related and some have not. I know that the people I am choosing the surround myself with will have an impact on me and my life. Therefore I have made the conscious decision to have people in my life that I can create love, joy, patience and understanding with. That we can create success, a partnership and community with.
I am choosing to have an amazing 2019 and I hope you will choose to do the same.
All my love,